April 11, 2008

It's nearing the 6 month mark since we lost Hilary.  Allie still hasn't gone back to the ranch.  She doesn't want anything to do with the place right now.  Just hurts too much.

I so know that feeling.  After all, it's been nearly 30 months since I went through the same thing.  But I had to return to the ranch right afterward, because Allie had Hilary and they needed to be together.  But going there every day, seeing Star's empty stall, just cut into my heart like a knife.  Going to the ranch after losing Hil, seeing the door to her stall open and no pony inside, her grain bins sitting out, her fly mask and blanket hanging on the rail, just twisted that knife even more.

I miss taking my two girls out into the arena and watching the two Arab's run free.  It was always so beautiful and they always drew a crowd.  Both proud with their head and tails up, flying like the wind.

I miss our two girls so much. 

October 29, 2007

Today was a very sad day.  The "box" came from Davis...containing Hilary's braided mane, tail and her shoes.  I found Allie in her room clutching the braids to her face and sobbing.  "They still smell like her."  Then..."I can't believe this is all that's left of my horse."

Of all days to get this box, today is the 2 year anniversary of losing Star.

Very sad day, indeed!

October 21, 2007

Hilary

Monday, October 15th, I received a call from the barn at 9am saying that Hilary wasn't eating anything.  We went down and had the vet come.  He thought she may have a stone or an impaction so he tubed her to try and help move things along.  We checked in on her later Monday, but she still wasn't eating or pooping. We called the vet back - he said to give her a bran mash and buckets of water so we could measure her intake.  We went back to the ranch 7am Tuesday morning to find she hadn't eaten, drank any water, or pooped.  Fearing an impaction that might rupture, we called back the vet.  He suggested we bring Hil to Davis.

Davis performed x-rays, ultrasounds, and scoped her, put her on IV fluids, tubed her, belly taps, everything.  They couldn't find anything specific on the tests so they wanted to keep her overnight for observation.  This went on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, into Saturday, doing more xrays and another ultrasound.  By Saturday she hadn't pooped in over 48 hours and the vet was getting very concerned about a rupture. 

Saturday, we spent four hours with Hilary, walking her around, brushing her mane, loving her, talking to her, trying to give her handfulls of green grass, praying for her to poop so she could come home.  She seemed ok in the beginning, but after awhile you could see she was in discomfort so Allie brought her back to her stall.  The vet recommended exploratory colic surgery if she didn't poop that evening.

Sunday morning, still nothing.  So at 10am they did the 3 1/2 hour procedure.  The surgery went very well.  They found no impactions or stones, but found a slightly displaced cecum that might account for her not pooping.  But nothing obvious to explain why she was in distress other than a slight thickening of the band where the stomach and intestine meet that might account for why there was still food in her stomach.  He wanted to scope her again the following Monday, paying particular attention to that area.

We talked about her aftercare - she'd be at Davis for at least the next 5 days and trying her on different all-grain diets so she could better digest and pass food.  We talked about the care she'd need for the next few weeks and months, stall care, hand walking, etc.

He said Hil would be in recovery for about 2 hours.  Allie needed to run by the cell phone store because she knew she'd be on the phone on a regular basis with the vet and wanted to make sure it was working properly.  We talked about who would go out on which days to walk Hilary, and were putting together a list of helpers.

While we were at the store, at 2:40pm, the vet called.  Something went horribly wrong when Hilary was coming out of anesthesia.  She must have gotten her back leg underneath her wrong and when her weight went down on it, her leg broke.  It was the tibia, up high, and was not repairable. 

We begged the vet to do what he could to keep her alive until we got back there but he said she needed to be put down now...she was suffering.  We ran back to Davis, knowing Hil would already be gone, but Allie wanted to say goodbye to her girl.  Instead, we found this kindhearted vet, rather than put her down right away, had her put back under anesthesia so Allie could be with her to say goodbye.

For a second time in less than two years, we come home from Davis with no pony.   And we're very, very sad.